Ugly Jokes and Quotes


I offered to be a face donor but they turn me down.

I look like a million dollars – green and wrinkled.

His interest in natural history was confined to the observation of the crows' feet gathering around his eyes.

She's so ugly she hands out whistles to construction workers.

She has a nice head on her shoulders, but it would be better on a neck.

I was an ugly kid. I worked in a pet store. People kept asking how big I get.

Rodney Dangerfield

Mothers could keep his picture on their mantelpiece to keep their kids from going too near the fire.

What a face – she could use it to model for poison bottles.

He could have donated his face to science fiction.

She was at the beautician's for four hours – that was just the estimate.

I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an exception.

Grouch Marx

My girlfriend says that I've got the body of a bloke half my age. Which would be a nice compliment if I wasn't 22.

You have a good weapon against muggers: your face.

Never get into fights with ugly people, they have nothing to lose.

My psychiatrist told me I was crazy. I said I want a second opinion. He said, 'Okay, you're ugly too.'

Having fake teeth. That'll denture confidence

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