Technology Jokes and Quotes - II

Support the helpless victims of computers.

Jokes about controls. They're not even remotely funny.

Arguing with autocorrect is the new yelling at the television.

The goal of computer science is to build something that will last until you've finished building it.

Douglas Adams

Breaking Windows isn't just for kids anymore.

Computers will never take the place of books. You can't stand on a floppy disk to reach the top shelf.

Welcome to The Alzheimer's information web page. Please enter your 16 digit password.

I deleted my Facebook account because I ran out of clever ways to wish people happy birthday.

I've just stuck a picture of Jimmy Wales at the top of every page of my old encyclopaedia.

Sat Navs are meant to be safe, but who's telling me they never speed in order to beat the estimated arrival time!

These days cloud computing reigns.

Magnum: The original point and click interface.

Imagine how much fun women in burkas have tagging each other on Facebook.

All of my passwords are "incorrect" so my computer always tells me if I forget.

The cause of the problem is a simple fault with the nut attached to the keyboard.

I've deleted so much History on my computer it doesn't even know who the Romans were.

Intel inside. Idiot outside.

The most popular iPhone app is 'The Telephone Box Locator'.

All computers wait at the same speed.

Computers make it easier to do a lot of things, but most of the things they make it easier to do don't need to be done.

Andy Rooney

There are only two industries that refer to their customers as 'users'

Edward Tufte

One rat said to the other rat: ”I've got this psychologist well trained. Every time I ring this bell he brings me food”.

Failure is not an option, it comes bundled with the software.

You can't take something off the Internet that's like taking pee out of a pool.

Normal people believe that if it ain't broke, don't fix it. Engineers believe that if it ain't broke, it doesn't have enough features yet.

Be nice to nerds. Chances are you'll end up working for one.

Bill Gates

There's only one satisfying way to boot a computer.

The Internet: Transforming Society and Shaping the Future Through Chat.

Dave Barry

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