Exercise Jokes and Quotes

Did my morning exercise up 1,2,3, down 1,2,3 – then with my other eyelid.

Being part of the human race does not count as exercise.

Hey, I'm still maintaining last year's New Years resolution of one sit-up per day - getting out of bed.

Been asked to run the London Marathon for charity but I've had to decline as I've no experience of organizing something that big.

I'm thinking of leaving my body to science. Even scientists need a good laugh now and then.

The only yoga stretch I've perfected is the yawn.

That awkward moment when you walk through the metal detectors at the airport and your abs of steel set them off.

I judge my fitness level by how winded I am when I reach the top of the stairs.

If God wanted me to touch my toes, he would have put them on my knees.

I have signed up with a personal trainer to get ready for swimsuit season. Need to work on my leering.

Does running late count as exercise?

Hope you're not too exhausted from our annual trip to the gym.

I've been carbo-loading for the last 40 years in case I ever need to go on a 10,000 mile run.

If God wanted me to touch my toes, he would have put them on my knees.

I'm on a strict running program. I started yesterday. I've only missed one day so far.

People who write diet books live off the fat of the land.

I get a lot of mental exercise by thinking up weird ways to avoid physical exercise.

I've just spent an hour in a stationary car and am working my way up to a stationary bike.

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